Quit Smoking Puppy - a lesson on tobacco and comma usage

Within the last year, three water-related things have happened, which have absolutely convinced me that I MUST get a dog in the very near future:

• I live by a lake
• Last summer, I became a sailor (as in I went sailing for the first, and subsequently 13 times
• By happenstance, I wandered into a dock dog competition

I have taken these three items to be a clear indicator that I MUST in the very near future get a puppy, and teach it to be a dock dog. After all, I live by a lake, puppy will have lots of opportunities to chill out on the sailboat, further reaffirming his love for water and strong desire to be a champion dock dog.

Beyond this, I think that my boyfriend and I should be get puppies so they can be dock dogs together. Perhaps they will push each other to excel. Plus, I figure that if boyfriend is going to be accompanying me to all of the dock dog events, he'll get bored or jealous or some angsty combination and eventually think, "If I am spending all of this time watching her train dogs, and win competitions, I might as well be training and winning competitions with my own dog!" But, the problem will be that he wont have a dog. So, the obvious solution is that we both get a puppies.

You may be thinking, "what does this have to do with smoking or commas?" Nothing yet, but at the same time, a little bit of everything...

My boyfriend has been struggling with quitting smoking for several years, and has just about exhausted every known option with no success. He mentioned to me that he really wants to quit prior to turning 29 for the second time. With only 10 months to go before doomsday, I may have mentioned that he should really start the quitting process now in hopes of achieving and maintaining his goal.

He has committed to taking step one in making an appointment with his doctor for next week. I know that he wants to quit, but at the same time, he is very sad about the quitting. Whether it is a loss of identity or fear of failure or a dozen other possibilities, I want him to be healthy, but I don't want him to be sad, so.... (dunt dunt dun!)

Solution - get a puppy now!!! Puppies are so loving and adorable, making it virtually impossible to own a puppy and be sad at the same time.

Plus, every smoking guide says that you need to replace your smoking habit with another habit.

• Feeling sad? Don't smoke, snuggle puppy.
• Have time to kill? Don't smoke, walk puppy.
• Feeling fidgety? Don't smoke, train puppy.
• Orally dissatisfied? Don't smoke, watch puppy chew things.

I cannot fully express without using a high pitched voice and doing my a little excited dance, giggles and all,  (which is exactly what he had to endure) how pleased I was/am with myself for formulating this idea. Best idea ever! Two birds, one stone. Pure happiness to follow. Boyfriend, not so convinced...

Me: What kind of puppy do you want?
Boyfriend: I don't want a puppy.
Me: What are you going to name him?
Boyfriend: No name. I don't want a puppy.
Me: I thought you wanted a puppy?
Boyfriend: I want you to have a puppy.

Then, the idea gets even better...

Ok. We'll go pick him up on Saturday. And, we'll name him Quit Smoking Puppy. Every time you talk to him it will reaffirm your commitment to stop smoking - for literally the next 15 years. Plus, think of how fun it will be to yell, "Quit Smoking Puppy," when you are at the park. People everywhere will look and say things like, "What? Why are you letting your puppy smoke? What's happening?" And we can say it is Quit Smoking Puppy, not Quit Smoking *comma* Puppy. Silly people at the park...